Hollow...

Yes hollow...
So hollow I have been for the last few months...

I just really don't know how I should feel
Hopeless...
Worthless...
Trustless..

Why I feel so insecure? So uncomfortable? Afraid? Scare?
Why there should be someone else around?
Someone that always make me feel insecure?
Why she's always be the good one?
Why she'a always around?
Why her? From all of the people why her?

It hurts a lot.. It hurts too much..
Maybe I should just end it, If I was going to feel this way forever...
It really hurts...
Too much to bear.
Too much to hold.
How much longer I can take it?
A year?
Two years?
Five years?

Will I always be the bad one here?
Will I always be the wrong one?
Will I always be the jerk one?
Will I always be the less trustworthy one?
Will I always get the less respect here?

Respect? What can I hope for a little bit of respect?
All I want is for them to respect my values and understand it..
Some things that dont mean anything, may mean a great thing for me.
Some things that is normal, may not normal for me.
Some things that they dont care at all, well FOR GOD SAKE, "I do care!!"

"Sweetheart?" Is it meaningless?
"Honey?" Meaningless?
"Darling?" Meaningless?
Its GODDAMN something for me!!!