Selfishness

I feel so selfish today...
While there are husbands, wives, children, parents and families mourning and grieving for their losts, I am grieving for my own lost... And my lost is nothing compare to theirs...
It really is an unreasonable and unexplainable sadness, without proof, without confirmation... Just based on a women instinct...
Hey, there are people out there who lost someone they loved just because of a cruelty of few people, while me, who still can laugh, grieving for some unknown reason and caused...
Life is so unexplainable...