I'm sorry

I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry for everything I’ve said and done all this time.
Everything that hurts you.
Everything that upsets you.
I’m sorry for everytime I got you into trouble.
I’m sorry for every upset moments I caused.
I’m sorry for every emotional moments I caused.
I’m sorry for all the bad words, bad thinking.
I’m sorry for your every nightmares, every bad moods.
I’m sorry for everything that I forget to say here.
I’m sorry for being difficult, I’m sorry for every burden and obligations.
I’m so sorry for everything.
I love you.

I’m sorry for every fights, every arguments, every jealousy.
I’m sorry for not listening to you.

I’m sorry too for all the times you’re feeling like a zombie.
I’m sorry for being difficult, I’m sorry for all the bad times.
I'm sorry for neglecting your needs. I'm sorry.

I’m sorry for all the angers, all the frustrations, all the desperation feelings.
I’m sorry for your unhappy moments.

I’ve said all this because I think its time for me to realize all my mistakes all this time and its time to say sorry.
I owe you a big apology.
I have other sorry to say, but I just cant remember it all now.
I will when I do.
Think about what I said and I hope that you forgive me.

I’m sorry for all the troubles I caused you at home and at work.
I’m just trying to be a better person, a better person than before.
So maybe I’ll forgive myself.
I’m trying to start new pages for me and I hope for us.
I’m trying to understand myself better and understand you and us.
I can only show love and understanding and support now.
I don’t have anything else to give.

Nothing is wrong.
I only want to say I’m sorry and hope it’s the right time.
I love you so much and that’s all I can give.
Nothing more.

I’m sorry for never being so understanding.

I feel sorry for all the bad things that has happened.

I said all these things because I have to.
Its time I should say sorry.
I have give you lots of had times without realizing it.
I shouldn’t do that.
It wont do any good.
I think we’re not going anywhere if I don’t start to change and start to understand.
I start by saying sorry.

I feel that the more I get upset or emotional over things, the more I push you away from me. The more I get upset, the more you feel resistant.
I think you are tired and have enough dealing with all these emotions with me.
You’re unhappy with me.
And I feel you got tired of dealing with all of my emotions.
And I don’t want that.
All my emotional things just keep push you away.

I don’t feel fine.
I’ve been not fine.
Its not alright when I keep pushing you away.
Its not alright when without realizing it I done things that pull yourself back away from me.
I didn’t make you laugh as much as I should.
I’m not fun to be with anymore.
We have negative communication.

I’m hoping you’re not going to see or judge all of my emotional things in a general way.
I’ve learned things along the way and I’m learning how to be strong.
I think I’ve learned to control myself a little bit.
I’ve been through so much.
And I’m learning everything. I hope.

Its not alright when I done nothing but keep you pull yourself away from me.
It takes two in everything, and its time for me to do something.

The negative vibes don’t help anyone.
Not myself, not you, not us.
I’ve been feeling these negative vibes, but I didn’t realize it till recently.
I’ve been giving it to everyone, including you, us, so I should start making it positive again.
Start from you and us, maybe it will make my life better.

If I start control my emotions and stop sending negative vibes, maybe it will do us good.
And do me good.
I start by saying sorry.

I just hope someday I get my old boyfriend back..
I love you

Honesty...

I wish you could have been truth to me...
I will not judge you for anything, I just want you to be honest with me...
I am emotional person, and we both know that
But I've been trying to control myself since what happened last time
and I just want you to appreciate me for this.

A woman has strong feeling about certain things,
and I think I've been holding it for quite long.

If your feeling has change for me,
and you want someone else instead of me,
then lets deal with it.

If you still want us to be together,
then get over it the feelings you have.

Then maybe we can have normal relationship...

Ordinary People...

Girl (honey) I'm in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still (always) put you first
And (I hope) we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
'cause we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
This time we'll take it slow

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way

I hang up you call (I call you hang up)
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I (always) still want you to stay

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe you'll never fight,
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby, you and I

From John Legend : Ordinary People with some changes.
This song always puts a lump in my throat whenever I heard it. :(

What I got to do?

What I got to do to make you love me?
What I got to do to make you care?
What do I do when lightning strikes me?
And I wake to find that you're not there?

What I got to do to make you want me?
What I got to do to be heard?
What do I say when it's all over?
Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

Walks away from me...

Ever imagine what it feels like
being hurt by someone that you care for,
Ever imagine that every effort that
you gave was thrown away without a trace,
Ever imagine when you need the most
but never come to close?

That moment has exist
and given me a truly miss,
Tried to recover,
tried to face the reality,
but it seems nobody beside me,
What do I expect when that moment
had swallowed me alive?

For sure I took the lesson,
for real I gave everything,
And up till now my efforts are
relentlessly of achieving
my spirit back to live,
And walks away from my shadow of life!

From : somewhere

How I feel...

How I feel...

Do you want to know how I feel?
Do you really really want to know?

I feel that I have given so many,
yet I received so less...
I feel that I worked my ass out,
trying to make it work,
but no one helping me...
I feel hopeless,
I feel lost,
I feel unloved,
I feel uncare,
I don't know what else.

I really don't know...
Someone help me please.

Have you ever been in love?

In the morning light
Half awake and half asleep
Have you ever laid there thinking
Was it all a dream?
But you reach out and he's there
Every moment, everywhere
Have you ever been in love?

Have you ever felt
How far a heart can fall
Have you ever stayed up waiting
For a telephone call
Just to hear him say hello
cause you miss each other so
Have you ever been in love?

Have there been times to laugh
And times you really want to cry
Finding reasons to believe him
cause you'd die a little if he lied
And when in times of doubt
Have you ever tried to work it out
But still he leaves you wondering
What its all about...

And when he's far away
Have you ever felt the need to stray
And tried and then discovered
It just doesn't pay
cause with him, you can be true
And with him, you can be you
Have you ever been in love?

And when the night comes down
Can you call your house a home
Do you dream you're still together
And wake up alone
Have you ever been in love
The way that I'm in love
Have you ever been in love?

Tiredness...

I’m so tired sometimes. Really tired.

I’m tired, trying to make things work.
I’m tired, reaching out to you but you’re not reaching me back.

My life is a real messed lately, I hope that this is not mess up too. This relationship.

He would say:
I am asking too much questions
I am worrying about silly things
I am keeping an eye on him
I do not trust him…

Maybe, just maybe I have reasons to do that…
He is just turning so cold
He seems that he lose interest of me
He seems not having the passion for me anymore

What can I do now?
I keep trying every day all the time to make it work
I am trying to keep the communication alive
I am trying to reach him but seem that he is not reaching me back
I am trying to keep the romance but he is just so cold

I keep asking over and over again, “what the hell is wrong with us?”
“What do I do wrong?”
“Could you please tell me what the hell is wrong?”

I’m tired.
I am trying all alone here.
Can I ask for some help?
I am really tired.